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::Peanut the Nut the Pirate::
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| I'm trapped in my face... |
[30 Dec 2003|07:20pm] |
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mood |
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weeeee |
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music |
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|dashboard confessionals:if you cant leave it be...| |
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...And I'm changing too much. I can't climb out the way I fell in.
Mom: What are you doing tomorrow?
Me: Huh? What do you mean?
Mom: New Years.
Me: Ha. Well, I haven't done anything this whole break. Do you think that I'm going to start now?
Mom: Well, where are your friends? What are they doing?
Me: Well, my Mom... Obviously people are too cool for me.
It looks like Steph will be chilling by herself for the 16th New Year in a row. It's almost like tradition. But, hey... After awhile things start to become the norm.
I had a great conversation last night with a friend from school. It was just really amazing. Made me feel a lot better and let me know that ahead of the game in a lot of ways. I guess their really are some great, genuine people in the world.
Hmm.. yeah... I'll be back.
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[29 Dec 2003|07:18pm] |
| The Potion Maker |
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| PeanutTheNutium is a translucent, silken grey powder leeched from the flesh of an ostrich. | | Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern |
| PeanutTheNut's Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 4 |
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| Average number of words per sentence: | 8.87 | | Average number of syllables per word: | 1.34 | | Total words in sample: | 15602 | | Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern |
| What Irrational Number Are You? |
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<tr [...] ;>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <table border='1' cellspacing='0' cellpadding='2' align='center'><form action='http://memegen.deskslave.org/viewmeme.pl?un=Demonac&meme=1064930787' method='POST'><tr><th colspan=2 bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#DDDD88'>The World Is MINE! by <a href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/demonac/'><font color='#DDDD88'>Demonac</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Name:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='Name:' value='Stephanie' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>You will conquer:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>the United States of America (but their government in exile is still holding out in the Statue of Liberty's head).</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Your title will be:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>God</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>You will succeed by:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Cloning an army of Blizzard game devellopers.</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Your Enforcers will be:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Jay and Silent Bob.</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Your first act as ruler:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Bathe in your victims' blood.</font></td></tr><input type='hidden' name='un' value='Demonac'><input type='hidden' name='meme' value='1064930787'><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><input type='submit' value='Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!'></td></tr><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><font size='-1' color='#FFFFFF'>Created with <a href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/quill18/'><img src='http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' style='vertical-align:bottom;border:0;'><font color='#DDDD88'>quill18</font></a>'s <a href='http://memegen.deskslave.org/'><font color='#DDDD88'>MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> <table border='1' cellspacing='0' cellpadding='2' align='center'><form action='http://memegen.deskslave.org/viewmeme.pl?un=kendokamel&meme=1066356442' method='POST'><tr><th colspan=2 bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#DDDD88'>Automatic Halloween Costume Generator by kendokamel</font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Your name</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='Your name' value='Stephanie' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Your costume</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>A Zombie</font></td></tr><input type='hidden' name='un' value='kendokamel'><input type='hidden' name='meme' value='1066356442'><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><input type='submit' value='Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!'></td></tr><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><font size='-1' color='#FFFFFF'>Created with <a href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/quill18/'><img src='http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' style='vertical-align:bottom;border:0;'><font color='#DDDD88'>quill18</font></a>'s <a href='http://memegen.deskslave.org/'><font color='#DDDD88'>MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> <center><table style="border: 1px black solid; background-color: white; color: black"><tr><th style="background-color: #00cc66"><a href="http://www.corknut.org/toys/potion/">The Potion Maker</a></th></tr><tr><td style="text-align: left"><b>PeanutTheNutium</b> is a translucent, silken grey powder leeched from the flesh of an ostrich.</td></tr><form action="http://mavra.perilith.com/~rfreebern/potion/" method="post"><input type="hidden" name="username" value="PeanutTheNut"><tr><td style="text-align: center">Mix with PeanutTheNut! Username: <input type="text" name="mix"><input type="submit" value="Mix"></td></tr></form><tr><td style="text-align: center; font-size: x-small; background-color: #cccccc">Yet another fun meme brought to you by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/rfreebern/">rfreebern</a></td></tr></table></center> <center><table style="border: 1px black solid;"><tr><th colspan="2" style="background-color: #ffdd00">PeanutTheNut's Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: <span style="background-color: #ffff00; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; border: 1px black solid">4</span></th></tr><tr><td style="background-color: #eeeeee">Average number of words per sentence:</td><td style="background-color: #eeeeee">8.87</td></tr><tr><td>Average number of syllables per word:</td><td>1.34</td></tr><tr><td style="background-color: #eeeeee">Total words in sample:</td><td style="background-color: #eeeeee">15602</td></tr><form action="http://mavra.perilith.com/~rfreebern/gradelevel/" method="post"><tr><td colspan="2">Analyze your journal! Username: <input type="text" name="username"> <input type="submit" value="Analyze"></td></tr></form><tr><td colspan="2" style="font-size: x-small; text-align: center; background-color: #eeeeee">Another fun meme brought to you by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/rfreebern/">rfreebern</a></td></tr></table></center> <table style="border: 1px black solid; width: 70%"><tr><th style="background-color: #cc9999">My LiveJournal Sitcom</th></tr><tr><td><b>All My PeanutTheNut</b> (<i>PAX, 7:00</i>): <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/PeanutTheNut/">PeanutTheNut</a> (Anthony LaPaglia) buys a wheelbarrow from <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/mmandy/">mmandy</a> (RuPaul). Also, <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/spark1911/">spark1911</a> (James Van Der Beek) tells <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/brokenxglass/">brokenxglass</a> (Rose McGowan) about Scientology. Then, <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/scenexsluts/">scenexsluts</a> (Diane Lane) overhears <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/sunrisehighway/">sunrisehighway</a> (Emma Thompson) talking about flirting. That same day, <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/mysterydonut/">mysterydonut</a> (Shaquille O'Neal) and <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/carkey395/">carkey395</a> (Ben Affleck) go waterskiing. Meanwhile, <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/fashionableemo/">fashionableemo</a> (Tupac Shakur) finds a VCR in <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/straylightwalk/">straylightwalk</a> (Emma Thompson)'s sock drawer. Crazy results follow.</td></tr><tr><td style="background-color: #eeeeee; font-size: xx-small; text-align: center"><a href="http://www.corknut.org/toys/sitcom/">What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom?</a> (by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/rfreebern/">rfreebern</a>)</td></tr></table> <table border='1' cellspacing='0' cellpadding='2' align='center'><form action='http://memegen.deskslave.org/viewmeme.pl?un=eva71&meme=1064942874' method='POST'><tr><th colspan=2 bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#DDDD88'>What Makes You Sexy? by <a href='http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/acid_dream/'><font color='#DDDD88'>eva71</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Name/NickName</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='Name/NickName' value='Stephanie' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Gender</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='Gender' value='Female' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Sexy Body Part Is</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Your Ass</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Special Talents Are</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Kissing</font></td></tr><input type='hidden' name='un' value='eva71'><input type='hidden' name='meme' value='1064942874'><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><input type='submit' value='Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!'></td></tr><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><font size='-1' color='#FFFFFF'>Created with <a href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/quill18/'><img src='http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' style='vertical-align:bottom;border:0;'><font color='#DDDD88'>quill18</font></a>'s <a href='http://memegen.deskslave.org/'><font color='#DDDD88'>MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> <div align="center"><!-- shinylemur.com What Irrational Number are you? version 1.0beta --><table style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; border-color: #006666; border-collapse: collapse;" width="400" cellpadding="4"><tr><td style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font: 110%; font-weight: bold; color: #FFFFFF; background: #066d98; text-align: center;" border="1">What Irrational Number Are You?</td></tr><tr style="color: black ; background: #DDDDDD; font: 10pt;";><td style="color: black ; background: #DDDDDD; font: 10pt;";><div style="text-align: center; font: bold 12pt; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', 'Times Roman', Times, serif;">You are <em>e</em></div><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', 'Times Roman', Times, serif;\ color: black; font: 10pt;"><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', 'Times Roman', Times, serif; color: black; font: 10pt;">Of all the irrational numbers, you are the most intense. By nature you are powerful, although sometimes you can spiral out of control. You are good with money; the interest seems to just compound whenever you are near. When someone uses the word "exponential" they are probably talking about you.<p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', 'Times Roman', Times, serif;\ color: black; font: 10pt;">In some ways you and φ are a nearly perfect match. Not to mention how attractive φ is. But then, there is the remarkable π...<p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', 'Times Roman', Times, serif;\ color: black; font: 10pt;">Your lucky number is approximately 2.71828183</div></td></tr><tr style="color: black ; background: #DDDDDD;"><td style="color: black ; background: #DDDDDD;"><table width="100%"><tr><td align="left"><a href="http://www.shinylemur.com">Shiny Lemur</a></td><td align="center"><form action="http://www.shinylemur.com/modules.php?name=Irrational_Numbers" method="post" style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0;"><input type="submit" value="Take the Quiz!"></form></td><td align="right"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/straif/">Straif's Blog</a></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></div> <table border='1' cellspacing='0' cellpadding='2' align='center'><form action='http://memegen.deskslave.org/viewmeme.pl?un=purple&meme=1060705807' method='POST'><tr><th colspan=2 bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#DDDD88'>what do they really think of you by purple</font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>lj name</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='lj name' value='PeanutTheNut' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>sex</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='sex' value='female' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>age</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='age' value='16' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>your best friend thinks</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>You're adorable </font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>your family think</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>you were switched at birth </font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>strangers think</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>you'd look good naked </font></td></tr><input type='hidden' name='un' value='purple'><input type='hidden' name='meme' value='1060705807'><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><input type='submit' value='Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!'></td></tr><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><font size='-1' color='#FFFFFF'>Created with <a href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/quill18/'><img src='http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' style='vertical-align:bottom;border:0;'><font color='#DDDD88'>quill18</font></a>'s <a href='http://memegen.deskslave.org/'><font color='#DDDD88'>MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> <table border='1' cellspacing='0' cellpadding='2' align='center'><form action='http://memegen.deskslave.org/viewmeme.pl?un=childdoll&meme=1063643998' method='POST'><tr><th colspan=2 bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#DDDD88'>Afterlife as an Angel by childdoll</font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Your Name</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='Your Name' value='PeanutTheNut' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Astrological Sign</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='Astrological Sign' value='taurus' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Angel Type</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Angel of Inspiration</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Wing Color</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Black </font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Heavenly Weapon</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Two short swords</font></td></tr><input type='hidden' name='un' value='childdoll'><input type='hidden' name='meme' value='1063643998'><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><input type='submit' value='Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!'></td></tr><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><font size='-1' color='#FFFFFF'>Created with <a href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/quill18/'><img src='http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' style='vertical-align:bottom;border:0;'><font color='#DDDD88'>quill18</font></a>'s <a href='http://memegen.deskslave.org/'><font color='#DDDD88'>MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> <center><i>I think thats soo awesome...</i></center> <table border='1' cellspacing='0' cellpadding='2' align='center'><form action='http://memegen.deskslave.org/viewmeme.pl?un=Valcion&meme=1060651420' method='POST'><tr><th colspan=2 bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#DDDD88'>What is Your Destiny? by <a href='http://livejournal.com/users/philtrc'><font color='#DDDD88'>Valcion</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Name</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='Name' value='Stephanie' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Color</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='Color' value='Black' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Birthday</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='Birthday' value='May 18' size='20'></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Destiny</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Toast</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Date when you fufill your destiny</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>January 21, 2009</font></td></tr><input type='hidden' name='un' value='Valcion'><input type='hidden' name='meme' value='1060651420'><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><input type='submit' value='Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!'></td></tr><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><font size='-1' color='#FFFFFF'>Created with <a href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/quill18/'><img src='http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' style='vertical-align:bottom;border:0;'><font color='#DDDD88'>quill18</font></a>'s <a href='http://memegen.deskslave.org/'><font color='#DDDD88'>MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> |
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[29 Dec 2003|03:16pm] |
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New background. Again. Screw you, anyways.
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[21 Dec 2003|04:46pm] |
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weeeee |
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Singing the Toys R Us Theme Song |
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Part Two.. I guess...
Let's see.. I know this is going to be so skippy, but whatever. Last Saturday I went to see The Early November, Copeland, HIPV and umm.. I forget. TEN was ah.. I dont like them that much so I guess they were okay. Copeland was awesome. Everything I expect and more. HIPV, I mean... Come on. Mikey. You cant go wrong with that kid on stage. He did mic checks. haha.. It just made me laugh because he was talking. hahaha... The other band was pretty kick ass. Kenny Vasoli was there. The poor kid. So many girls just want to get with him and their damn scene points while they're at it. Sad, sad souls.
Mmm... Monday was auditions as previously said. Tuesday and Wednesday I stayed home because I was sick. Thursday and Friday were just school. Boring, old, Kill me now school. I really would have rather been being hit by a mac truck for those two days. People at school bite ass. I know that everyone says that, too, and I hate how everyone always says that, but like... If you hate it so much, why do you hang out with the other kids and kiss ass? Riiight.. You hate it. It's not like anyone is saying "hey you have to hang out with these people..." Dumb kids. Have fun in life.
Ur.. I was going to continue talking shit on everyone due to the fact that people get off by making me feel bad about myself. Thanks, thanks. But, I have to get over shit, and people like you all. So, I wont talk about it, but I will let you know that you upset me.
Bad mood+bad mood+the best thing since sliced bread= the best feeling in the world plus some, and steph doesnt want to share. ahhh
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| You look better when out of sight |
[20 Dec 2003|03:31pm] |
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pssssssssssh |
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music |
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|dashboard confessionals:if you cant leave it be...| |
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You were not made to stand and fight...
Yes, new background. What can I say... I try?
I'm proud to say that I am a fan of the Lose Yourself by Eminem. Always have been. Fuck off.
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another jam or not
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailers got to go
I cannot grow old in livin in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss the chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
So, what's new with me? I got three cards in the mail. Oh yeah baby. I'm loved yo. NCN Worship, gangstas. Christmas cards make me want to gag though. It's like the one time of year when people have to pretend to be cheery and happy and shit. I mean like I would rather people send my family the dollar instead of saying how much they miss me, and they cant believe that I have grown up. Let's be serious. But, the Castor's did send us their annual card with the picture of Sean, Grant and Kelly. Man, I miss those kids soo much. They're like my family, fo shiz. Grant was probably the best thing about doing shows. He was sooo funny. And, Kelly was so sweet, like a sister. Mrs Castor.. haha... Like the crazy, coo-ky mom that every kid needs. Man, this is sad. You wouldn't know though.
It really doesnt feel like Christmas. I mean, like.. It's just so different now. I hate being the youngest because you're forced to grow up. I dont want to. I mean, it really feels like everyone is expecting so much of me, at home and in school. I cant live up to everyone else's potenial. I'm not that good.
I had auditions for Les Mis on Monday. It was time to chill with Shawna and Bridge. I see Bridge during Art. I love that girl. I hardly see Shawna anymore. I love spending time with her more than anyone in the whole world. She's really like my sister no lie. I mean, yeah people say that all the time, but Shawna really is. She amazes me. <3. I hope I get the part I want. Urg! Why am I so scared?! I mean it's a high school show. I have done better. I do better. I guess its just because I know this will be one of the last shows I do in my life, sadly. It's hard to have to let something that's such a big part of your life go, just because other things are more important. Man, I find out Monday. Too far away. Everyone has been telling me and Nawna about how good we were and how i definately have the part i want and all. I hate when people build you up so much, because what if I dont get it?! So, everytime me and Nawna see each other we'll be like "man, you sucked so much." haha... I love her. Fingers are crossed...
Well, this is only like half done. But, I have to leave in a little. So, later on.
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[19 Dec 2003|06:37pm] |
Stolen from Lisa because I can steal and get away with it.
// YOUR ROOM AND WAKING UP //
01. What color are your walls? baby blue
02. What color is your bedspread/sheets? yellow,white
03. What color is your rug? blue... urr I hate carpet
04. What's on your walls? Wall #1) 2 Windows, Bulletin Board (which includes my Nolan porn from Lisa, thank you thank you.) Shelf with "special things" on it, pictures from shows of TBS, TSL, BN, FOB, HIPV and TRS. Wall #2) Prize Fight poster, Prize Fight pictures, Window, "friends" pictures. Wall #3) PFEW pictures, Picture Frame Number 1 which is my blank right now, Frame Number 2)Also blank, Frame Number 3 is not blank (Thursday numvbered poster from the Apple Store show, ticket stubs, things like that), Door, Poster of pictures from like 8th grade and below. Wall #4) just my closet door.
05. Do you have a TV? yep
06. Do you have a phone? yep. my own line.
07. Do you have your own computer? used to. my brother stole the tower.
08. Do you have a desk? yep
09. What are your most treasured belongings in your room? CDs... Some are. Teddy Bear... yes. My first pillow and blankey... Yes. Pictures that make me cry.. yesh. My secret stash of letters and conversations... you guessed it.
10. What are your most favorite things in your room? My bed and all that dwells on it.
11. Do you have any fancy lights in your room? Not really, just ceilling lights. I can move them all around though. They are kind of cool now that I think about it.
// GETTING READY //
01. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Either my pillow or underneath my covers
02. Anything unusual? umm no
03. Do you pick out your clothes the night before school? Nope
04. Do you try your best to look cute for school? haha... no. Let's be serious. Have you seen me in school?! People probably think that I literally just wake up and go to school.
// SCHOOL //
01. What color is your backpack? one is navy blue and the other is gray and blue. It depends which one I'm using.
02. Do you try your best when it comes to school work? Mmm.. For the majority. But my best isnt that great.
03. Do you listen or doodle? I doodle while I work. Doot doot doot doot doo.
04. BE QUIET - we all know you doodle, but what do you doodle? Mmm... I dont know. You would have to look at my notebooks. I guess stars and lettering. Tattooish stuff. I write a lot of lyrics too.
05. Do you eat your cafeteria food, or go out? cafe or bring shit
06. What do you do right when schools over? go home or to music lessons
// HOME //
When you come home are you...
01. Miserable? Usually
02. Happy? Not really
03. Tired? Moz Def
04. LEAVE ME ALONE? You could say
// OTHER //
01. Do you take walks around your neighborhood sometimes? No because I would probably get jumped by the hicks.
02. What are some hobbies of yours? I would say music, but I guess you wouldnt consider it a hobby. Umm.. Photography, art, poetry, short story writing, creative shit
03. Do you collect anything? Mmm... Dont think so?!
04. What do you do in your spare time? Listen to music. College search.
05. Are you in love, or at least falling? Ha.. Right.
// NIGHT TIME //
01. What do you do before you go to bed? depends.
02. Do you kiss your parents/guardians goodnight, or just say "goodnight"? sometimes say goodnight
03. What way do you sleep (ex: on your side, tummy, etc.)? on my side
04. Do you like your life? Simply no.
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[10 Dec 2003|04:54pm] |
|
Oh yes... I have been meaning to tell you all that I, Stephanie Bradbury the First, have grown a half inch since May. Yes, this means that when I am an "adult" I will not be legally a midget. 4'10 1/2 haha How exciting.
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| You look better when out of sight. |
[10 Dec 2003|04:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pssssssssssh |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
|dashboard confessionals:if you cant leave it be...| |
] |
So yeah, I live the boring life. Nothing has been happening at all. Well, last night i had to sing at the tree lighting thinger. Oh man. Wee. Riiight. I hate everything just as much as I did before, maybe more if possible. It just amazes me that people can't find beauty in such amazing things. But hey, i won't get started because this always just gets me in trouble. Yeah, people only think they should be aloud to have freedom of speech. This weekend is Copeland and Hidden in Plain View. Ah.. Kickin. MIKEY haha (I almost forgot about him Helen. hahaha) College is really scaring me. I heard that they dont look at your quarter grades, but semester grades?!?! That's good if its true. It lets me bring up history and spanish. I have gotten like 15, no lie, things in the mail from schools just from monday and tuesday. It's exciting in a way. I'm almost out of here! ahh... Freedom. My brother maybe moving to Pittsburgh... It's wierd, you know? He's like growing up. It kind of makes me want to forget about my childhood and act like it never happened because it's easier to accept growing up that way. Once again.. Steph is thinking too much, so I'll leave you with these kind words...
What you've found sure upsets you. Never saw it coming did you? It's easy to be suprised with both your eyes sewn closed. Handeld with great percision, another thoughtless execution. You're the subject of this exhibition. A willing cadaver, a willing cadaver. Scalpel, sutured. Made whole again. These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars, fit the peices. Tell your story, you don't need to say a word. Call off the calvary, can't save a wretch like me. Clean this with kerosene. If you can't leave it be might as well make it bleed. Scalpel, sutured. Made whole again. Your wires are frayed, can't fire right. You look better when out of sight. You were not made to stand and fight. There's something better wrong with you. Your pulse is anemic. You're tired of the fire. You're bruising too easy and falling behind. And no one is waiting for you. And no one is waiting for you. And no one is waiting for you. Call off your quarantine, can't save the rest from me. Clean this with kerosene. If you can't leave it be might as well make it bleed. Scapel, sutured. Made whole again. Your wires are frayed, can't fire right. You look better when out of sight. You were not made to stand and fight. There's something better wrong with you.
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| boredom has struck! |
[06 Dec 2003|11:19pm] |
DUN DUN DUN! Boredom had struck!
You are Emo!
You are very sensitive to everything and often find
yourself depressed or brooding. You get
attached to people easily and find it hard to
let go. However, you are creative and
articulate and can express your thoughts easily
and clearly. You are empathetic to people in
distress and often find yourself driven to help
them. Try not to focus solely on whats wrong
with the world, and try to notice the positive
aspects, too. Oh, and please put the X-acto
down.
What Kind of Music are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Wintergreen.
You are cool and collected. You are very
comfortable with yourself and what you do.
Even if you have a lot of responsiblities, you
always manage to be in control. You are
sometimes laid-back and you are always the
voice of reason. However, others may see you
as lazy or detached sometimes, unable to act
responsibly.
Most Compatible With: Lime
Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
you are the "you suck, and that's sad"
happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit
brutal.
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I hate those bunnies. My god...
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| So step away... |
[06 Dec 2003|10:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
weeeee |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Singing the Toys R Us Theme Song |
] |
for it may just be too late...
So, what can I say?? So much has been happening, but at the same time nothing has been. You know? Most of the things that have been happening have just been going back to how I have to live up these next two years, because after that I really have to start playing my cards right or nothing will ever happen.
Random things that I want to share:
1. We had a half day yesterday (Friday) because of the snow, and I didn't even go out and play because none of the other siblings are home. Even if they were home I wouldn't be out in it because they all think that they're too cool for that type of stuff. It's sad because this isn't how it was when I was younger, but over the last maybe seven-eight years things have just gone down hill. I hate how everyone has to grow up. Losers.
2. Yesterday on the way to school I sat behind a little boy in like first grade. He was soo excited because it was snowing. I really felt like crying. No lie. I wish that I could feel like that again. I couldnt describe to you my feelings. He just sat their staring out the window, turing to everyone and saying "IT'S SNOWING! IT'S SNOWING! I'M GOING TO GO AND PLAY AND..." And, what was even better, was at that time, it was only a dusting. It was truly amazing.
3. Saint Nick came. He comes every year. I love it. I wake up and my shoes are filled with all kinds of goodies. This year I got a bunch of candy and AN ARIEL HAIRSTYLING HEAD. It's super. He must have heard me telling my mom that I wanted a Barbie Head. Good Old Saint Nick did very well this year. He still visits my brothers and sisters. Well, he sends them packages. See, my mom called my brother and asked him if he got any packages (she must have gotten some kind of feeling) and he said yeah, and that he was going to call her and thank her, but the return address said Santa, so.. yeah. The joys of having these ties to your childhood...
4. I went out to eat with my parents today, and there was this family sitting behind my parents who I could see perfectly. Well, first of all when they ordered the mother asked for minced onions on her food, and the husband said "What the hell? Do you always have to be so hard every time we go out? You're so god damn embarassing." Then, their son spilled his apple juice, and really loud the man goes "you son of a bitch. why the hell do you so such stupid things? you're so stupid." mom: "it was an accident." man: "no. he was playing with his cup the whole damn time." the poor kid wasnt. I was watching him the whole time, and he was probably only like four years old. Then the man goes "I hope you wrecked my cell phone you son of a bitch." My mom had to stop me from saying something to him. I was really about the walk by and through my drink on him. You could tell that he beat his wife. No doubt. It was soo sad. I wanted to smack him. Then, and other family can in. Parents and a boy and girl. Twins around like three or four. They were so cute. The mom pulled out crayons, and I was like "Mom! These are my kind of kids!" Then, the coloring books came out, both of which I own myself. The little boy kept interupting his parents saying "Excuse me. Excuse me. Daddy...." It was sooo adorable. The best was when he went "Daddy (Throws he feets up on his dad's lap.) Do you like my new boots? Their blue and black and gray and red." I can picture them and I can hear him saying it word by word. As much as I dont want to grow up and all, I cant wait until I have kids of my own. They're going to be so kick ass in their little vans and band shirts. haha.
Hmm.. I redid my journal, as you can tell. Leave me comments on that.
So, I guess the best part of the past two days was when I was in school yesterday and I had a conversation with a teacher that looks like Dilbert.
Dilbert: How come you aren't in uniform?
Me: Because I'm going home in a few minutes.
Dilbert: You're still in school. Where's your sweater?
Me: In my locker. Downstairs.
Dilbert: Well, you're out of dress code. Oh and nice blue tshirt.
Me: Thanks. Actually, it's white with blue trim. It's a band tee. Flogging Molly.
Dilbert: Okay. Where's your ID?
Me: In my bag in room 104.
Dilbert: Well, how am I susposed to know your name if you're not wearing your ID?
Me: Why does it matter?
Dilbert: Well, if I dont know your name what am I susposed to call you?
Me: It doesnt matter. Thats up to you.
Dilbert: But, you'll get upset... I'll call you Derrick.
Me: I KNOW SOMEONE NAMED DERRICK!
hhahaha I jumped out of my seat literally. I almost jumped over the table that was seperating us. haha It was soooo funny. I loved it. hahahah Man, I'm even laughing now.
I realized that I really only have less than two years to do shows, because once I get to college, I probably won't do any first off because I'm not talented enough and second because I'll probably be too busy with school and all. I want to cry. It's like I have worked all these years for nothing. I mean, yeah, I have had a blast doing it all, but I dont have anything to look back on and be like "wow, that was a great show, and i was a big part." It's all over. I fucking want to be on Broadway. haha Righht. I dont want it to all be over because it's been such a big part of my life.
Hmm... that's it for now. Less than three to you who know who it means. NCNW kickin it higher than ever yo.
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| And, I've become content with this life that I lead... |
[05 Dec 2003|05:40pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Grand Finals For What It's Worth |
] |
Where I drink too much and don't believe in much of anything. And, I lied to myself, and said it's for the best.
Well, yeah. I'm lame and have been in a down mood. I wont bore you with that type of stuff, and I dont want the same things to happen like last time. So, later (and probably when the journal picture is back up)I will give an update.
.NOLAN.COOPER.NOON.WORSHIP.
Fo Lyf
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|
| Stolen From Niki's journal... |
[30 Nov 2003|10:08pm] |
Stolen from Niki, yo.
Opposite Sex
||1|| Guitar or Drum Player - Mmm... Tough one, but I'll go with guitar because, well you know why if you know me and I'm a "sucker for anything acoustic."
||2|| Skater or Surfer - Skater
||3|| Brown or Blue Eyes - Blue
||4|| Blonde or Brunette - Color doesnt matter
||5|| Brains or Looks (Be honest!) - Looks get me interested, and brains keep me.
Same Sex
||6|| Tease or Slut - um
||7|| Blonde or Brunette - uh
||8|| Brown or Blue Eyes - um
||9|| Boobs or Butt - uh
||10|| Actress or Singer - um boy that was fun
(all Niki's answers.)
Food -
||11|| Hamburger or Hotdog - Hamburger
||12|| Pie or Cake - Cake
||13|| Apple or Banana - Green Apples
||14|| Coke or Pepsi - TAB! haha
||15|| Chicken or Beef - Chicken
||16|| Oreos or Chips Ahoy - Chip Ahoy, unless we have apple juice, and then it's oreos
||17|| Pancakes or Waffles - pancakes
||18|| Chocolate or Vanilla - chocolate
||19|| Strawberry or Cherry - strawberry
||20|| Watermelon or Cantaloupe - watermelon
||21|| Potato or Macaroni Salad - potato
||22|| Wheat or White - depends
||23|| Tic Tacs or Altoids - Tic tacs
||24|| Sausage or Bacon - bacon
||25|| Sour Cream and Chives or BBQ - Sour cream and chives
Sports -
||26|| Baseball or Football - baseball
||27|| Swim or Track - Swim
||28|| Tennis or Golf - Tennis
||29|| Skiing or Sledding - Sledding
||30|| Bicycling or Jogging - Bicycling. I have a doctors note. Cant jog. Hahaha
Stores/Restaurants -
||31|| McDonalds or Burger King - Bee Kay
||32|| JC Penny's or Sears - JC Penny's
||33|| Walmart or Target - Wal*Mart, bc Target is too classy for me
||34|| Trophy's or TGI Fridays - Friday's
||35|| Albertson's or Vons - Huh?
Clothes -
||36|| Pants or Shorts - Pants
||36|| Zip-Up or Pull-Over Sweatshirt - Pull-over
||37|| Sandals or Tennis Shoes - Tennis shoes
||38|| Dresses or Skirts - Skirts
||39|| Mittens or Gloves - Neither, I prefer my scarf with the pockets yo. My mom has made talent
||40|| Print or Solid - solid, usually. depends on the print
Names -
||41|| Bob or Bill - Bill
||42|| Jessica or Jennifer - Jessica
||43|| Aaron or Erin - Aaron for a boy, Erin for a girl
||44|| Carrie or Kari - Kari
||45|| Todd or Tom - Momasina
||46|| Lynn or Lee - Lynn
||47|| Sarah or Susie - Sarah
||48|| Jack or John - John(athon) (my favorite fairbanks. haha)
||49|| Lisa or Linda - Lisa
||50|| Matt or Nick - Matt
Music -
||51|| Punk or Rock - punk
||52|| Country or Bubble Gum Pop - Old school Bubble Gum Pop. Like Jackson 5. The original shit, back when Micheal was adorable and talented.
||53|| Rap or Techno - Techno, yo. haha
||54|| Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera - Me.
||55|| *N Sync or Backstreet Boys - Helen.
||56|| Korn or Staind - D-Rock Dance Team.
||57|| Limp Bizkit or Linkin Park - MIKEY! ahaha
||58|| Guitar or Drums - Guitar, as previously stated.
||59|| Piano or Violin - Viola. hahaha
||60|| CDs or Radio - See Dee's. Who listens to the radio anymore?
TV -
||61|| Dawson's Creek or 7th Heaven - I have never watched either.
||62|| Angel or Buffy the Vampire Slayer - same.
||63|| Law and Order or The Practice - Law and Order
||64|| Spy TV or Candid Camera - Spy TV
||65|| Smallville or Charmed - Never watched either
Cinema -
||66|| Bruce Willis or Kevin Costner - eh..
||67|| Jennifer Love Hewitt or Neve Campbell - eh..
||68|| Aladdin or Lion King - Aladdin yo.
||69|| Snow White or Sleeping Beauty - Snow White because I am secretly her. Shhh!
||70|| Comedy or Drama - Comedy
||71|| Horror or Science Fiction - Horror
||72|| Scream or I Know What You Did Last Summer - Eye Kay Double-you Why Dee El Es
||73|| Not Another Teen Movie or Scary Movie - haha Both I guess
||74|| Titanic or Pearl Harbor - Pearl Harbor
||75|| The Mask or Ace Ventura - Ace Ventura
Computer/Video Games -
||76|| AOL or MSN - AOL
||77|| Dogpile or Google - Google
||78|| Mac or PC - PC
||79|| PS2 or N64 - PS2
||80|| Mario Brothers or Zelda - Zelda
School -
||81|| Pen or Pencil- Pen
||82|| English or History - English, freshman year. Timmons.
||83|| Math or Science - Math
||84|| Home Economics or Woodshop -haha... riiight. My school is cheap.
||85|| Backpack or Messenger Bag - backpack
Animals -
||86|| Cat or Dog - Dog
||87|| Fish or Hamster - hamster
||88|| Tiger or Lion - Tiger
||89|| Butterfly or Lady Bug - lady bug
||90|| Seals or Otters - both yo. its all about the marine life.
Products -
||91|| Tide or Gain - Tide
||92|| Herbal Essences or Suave - suave
||93|| Dove or Irish Spring - Dove
||94|| A-JAX or 409 - 409
||95|| Crest or Colgate - Crest
Other -
||96|| John Saul or Steven King - Steven King
||97|| Chocolate or Roses - Roses
||98|| Toyota or Ford - ford
||99|| Paper or Plastic - paper?
||100|| Necklace or Bracelet - Bracelet
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[28 Nov 2003|04:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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alrighteeizled |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Grand Finals For What It's Worth |
] |
I am thankful for...
in no specific order
being able to hear.music.Taking Back Sunday.The Ataris.Bright Eyes.Brand New. Jamison Parker.Thursday.Mae.Copeland.Straylight Run.The Reunion Show.The Starting Line.Death Cab for Cutie.Hidden In Plain View.Spitalfield.The Movielife.Long Shot Hero.The Prize Fight.The Prizefighter.Further Seems Forever.Something Corporate.Steel Train.The Rocket Summer.The Used.As Advertised.The Contingency Plan.The Grand Finals.The June Spirit.Cursive.Northstar.The Postal Service.A Static Lullaby.All American Rejects.AFI.And So It Begins.Ben Kweller.Cindi Lauper.Chance Of A Lifetime.Coldplay.Coheed and Cambria.Dance Hall Crashers.Dashboard Confessionals.Sugercult.Desaparecidos.Dont Look Down.Dynamite Boy.Dropkick Murphy's.Flogging Molly.Bigwig.Lagwagon.Less Than Jake.Fenix TX. Foo Fighters.The Cure.Glassjaw.Hot Rod Curcuit.John Mayer.Morrisey.The Monkees.NoFx.New Found Glory.Plain White T's.Ozma.Piebald.Rufio.The Rocking Horse Winner.Saves The Day.Ultimate Fakebook.Tsunami Bomb.Yellow Card.Circle and Square.Alkaline Trio.Allister.Anatomy of a Ghost.Armor for Sleep.At the Drive-In.Atreyu. Boy Kicks Girl. Boy Sets Fire.Boys Night Out.Breaking Pangea.Count the Stars.Fairweather.Fallout Boy.Trouble Is aka Start Trouble.Finch.From Autumn to Ashes.Green Day.Hellogoodbye.Hopesfall.Hot Hot Heat.Jimmy Eat World.The Juliana Theory.Junction 18.Little Yellow Box.Matchbook Romance.Midtown.Moneen.Motion City Soundtrack.My Chemical Romance.Recover.Relient K.Senses Fail.The Smiths.Sparta.Story of the Year.Sublime.The Beautiful Mistake.The Early November.The Get Up Kids.The Last Chance Diaries.Thrice.Vendetta Red.All The Bands.The Kids Who Make Up The Bands.The Fans.The Shows.My Mom.Grandfather.Family.Brothers.Helen.Kimmy.Colleen.Kate/Mom.Heather.Rachel.Yahoo Groups.NolanCooperNoon Worship.Pens.Writing.Notebooks.Paper.Pencils.Computer.Headset.Headphones.CDs.Theater.The Music Man.Carousel.Cinderella.Annie.Children's Theater.Bucks County Playhouse.Jenn.Jackie.Lisa.The Worshippers.Adam Lazarra.Conor Oberst.Derrick Sherman.Conversations with Mom aka Kate.Crayons.Coloring Books.Trees.My Barn/Garage.Killer Mountian.Bitto.Indy Anna Bones.Emmit.Porsche Spears.The Castors.The Brennans.Rob.Jared.Laura.The Good Conversations I have Saved.The Goonies.Empire Records.Dangerous Lives of Altar Servers.Detroit Rock City.North Star Bar.The CrocRock.Troc.Electric Factory.My Baby Blanket.Teddy Bear.Baby Pillow.CDs.Vans.Will Noon's Hair.Philly.Interviewing.My Interviews.D-Rock Dance Team.Dan.Val.Wildwood, NJ.Norristown.Jeffersonsville.Long Pointless, But Meaningful Conversations With Helen.Talking to Helen.Bridget Hepler.PacSun.InterPunk.MerchDirect.Live Music.Being On Stage.Mrs.Curry.Singing.To Kill A Mockingbird.The Outsiders.The Catcher in the Rye.The Perks of Being a Wallflower.Music Videos.AIM.The Internet.The Word Silly.My True Gangsta Self.Socks.All My Band Tee's.Orange Soda.Grape Soda.Ginger Ale.Chicken.TAB.My Geetar.Music Lessons.Heather from Victory.Victory Records.The Simpsons.Animal Planet.The Animal Precinct.Trading Spaces.The Family Guy.Malcolm In The Middle.Windows Media Player.The Everyday Items.My House.My Room.Heat.The Cars.Graduating in Less Than Two Years.College In About Two Years.Having Oppurtnities.My Livejournal.Having Some Friends.Having Friends In Different Lands.Being The Baby.Lyrics.Night.Stars.My Old Toys.My New Toys.My Childhood.The Imagination of My Biggest Brother.The Christmas Ninjas.That Adam Has A Scarf.I'm Me.Some People Dont Conform.I dont Conform.Video Games.Iced Tea.Movies.Family Movies.The Dead Poet's Society.Cellphone.Dance Class Back In The Day.Swim Meets.Outside.Walks with Hel.Inside Jokes.Mr.Ferris Took A One Year Sabatical.My Brothers Being Boyscouts.4H Back in The Day.I'm Allergic To Cellery.Books.School Bags.I'm Not Afrain To Be Me.The New and Old TBS.The Feeling(s)Of Being At A Show.Emocapella.My Dog Skip.Theatre Kids.Theatre People.Photography.Pictures.My Heros.Being Inspired.The Few I Can Trust.Being Taught.Being Understood.Local Bands.Local Shows.Hair Ties.UArts This Summer.Warped Tour.Berklee.College.Snail Mail.Christmas Cards.Notes.Hearing Stories.Hearing "Stories".The Quote "Take Time To Remember The Beauty Of Our Youth".310.Having My Own Room.Watching Skating.My Jeans.Getting Packages.Mariana.Jenn.Brian.Jake.Erin.Tori.Learing A Lot About Myself This Past Summer.Having Freedom.Having Choice.Having The Luck I Do Have.And,Again...Most Importantly To Me... Music.
Yeah... I'm a wierdo. hhaha..
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[23 Nov 2003|08:33pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
simpsons on tee bee |
] |
stolen from mom because she rocks and is signed now. :)
Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
1. a high school diploma.
2. a puppy.
3. my own zoo/aquarium.
4. a job at a label.
Name 4 Of Your Favorite Bands:
1. taking back sunday.
2. thursday.
3. bright eyes.
4. straylight run.
Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
1. showered.
2. went to a baptism.
3. saw the new baby.
4. played dolls with my little (boy)cousin.
Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
1. iced tea.
2. orange soda.
3. ginger ale.
4. sprite.
Last Song You Sang?
"Downtown" by Copeland.
Last Person You Hugged?
mmm.. Uncle Brad.
Last Thing You Laughed At?
me and my mom making comments during the baptism.
Last Time You Said 'I Love You' And Meant It?
thats hard.
Last time you cried?
Friday when my dad didnt care about my application.
What's In Your CD Player?
TBS, old BN and old Prize Fight.
What Color Socks Are You Wearing?
White with red trim and the puma logo.
What's Under Your Bed?
boxes and old CDs and my Crayon Maker, yes. I'm cool.
What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
11.
Current Hair?
straight bangs, and two little messy ponytails because I was too lazy to do my hair after my shower.
Current Clothes?
Socks as previously described, black and white vans as usualy, jean skirt and roxy sweater.
Current Annoyance?
wanting to write, but not being able to describe what i know i want to write.
Current Desktop Picture?
my brother's band collage style.
Current Worry?
doctors and bringing my grades up.
Current Hate?
mm.. haha.
Last CD You Bought?
TBS, isnt that funny.
Favorite Place To Be?
my room, at a show, outside in green lane or wildwood, philly.
Least Favorite Place?
school.
If You Could Play An Instrument?
drums.
Favorite Color?
yellow.
Favorite Season?
spring.
|
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| Get up, get up. Come on, come on. Lets go. |
[15 Nov 2003|10:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
HappierThanEver StillInShock |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Taking Back Sunday The Blue Channel |
] |
There’s just a few things I think that you should know. Those words at best were worse than teenage poetry. Fragment ideas and too many pronouns. Stop it, come on. You’re not making sense now. You can't make them want you. They're all just laughing. Literate and stylish. Kissable and quiet. Well that's what girls dreams are made of and that's all you need to know. You have it or you don't. You have it or you don't. You have it or you... You see how much time you're wastin? You're coward of seperating...
Hmm... So, there's alot going on in this post, due to my lack of posting. If you're here just to see my Taking Back Sunday review, then scroll down. You'll find it. :)
Anyways, Thursday I had off from school which was pretty sweet. I did nothing because the wind knocked out my power for like hours. Not too fun. And, also our peach tree fell over. Not too cool. It was also wicked cold. Umm.. Thursday night. What a trip. Well, I went into Philly with my parents to see my sister dance at her school and to take her out for her birthday day. During her piece she effed up her knee pretty bad. She was crying and shit, and in a lot of pain. When I was backstage, some dancer guy stole my Perks of Being a Wallflower book, and explained to me how much he loved it and how it related to him. I was a little overwhelmed. haha... Well, we (me, Tacy and Dougie ) left to go back to her apartment. He had to carry her. It was sad. From there we met back up with my parents and my brother Jakey. We went to eat where we also met up with my brother Andy. And, we ate and "shot the shit" for awhile, well like three hours I think. One would be able to tell that it was a special occasion because Jake wore pants. haha... Well, if you knew Jake, you would know that he wears shorts all year around. Our waiter kept shaling the chair that my sister had her leg up on, but it didnt cause her too much pain due to the painkillers she took. So, Me, Tacy and Doug went back to her house, while my parents dropped off Jake at his place. They came and picked us up, and we took Tacy and Douglas to Jefferson (emergency room). Then, Helen called me and I talked to her the whole way home, and then for like another hour-hour and a half when I was at home. The girl never lets me sleep! haha jay kay.
Well, it turns out that she has a really bad sprain, and she probably wont have to repeat the semester which is a good thing because it's her last year.
TAKING BACK SUNDAY KICK IT TO THE MOON AND BACK. ZOOOOM!
So, Friday... Oh man... I think that was the longest day of my life. All during school I was all like "Woo-hoo! Taking Back Sunday." And, that made people laugh at me. Well, Rach informed me that she wasnt going to go, which made things hectic, but oh well. Me and Helen asked a bunch of kids to go, but no one could. Anyway, we worked things out and went.
So, as soon as we got out of the car we found Jackie, so we cut in line with her and her buddies. Well, we got in and waited a little for Moneen to come on. They were pretty awesome, but I expected more I guess. Maybe it was because I knew what was coming after them. Kids were pysco and decided to rock out to the stero between sets. Who the hell does that??
Finally.... Taking Back Sunday came on. It's funny because all these people are keep on asking me if I'm okay because I'm so short, and then they see that I can take care of myself and they're like "woow." Haha.. TBS was fucking amazing. They're knew stuff sounds better than ever. Each time I see them they just get tighter and more effin amazing! The crowd was crazy. I seriously think that was the best crowd ever, and it was definately the best time I saw Taking Back Sunday.
I was about to flip shit on the guys who were keep on yelling "HEY WHERE'S JOHN? WHERE'S SHAUN?" or "YEAH, BREAKING PANGAEA IS AWESOME" or "GO STRAYLIGHT RUN!" and shit like that. I mean, all of you who know me know that I definately have nothing against Shaun or John or Straylight at all. I love them. ::WORSHIP x CORE:: But you dont do that. It's just wrong and not amusing. Sooo many people were shooting them the dirtiest looks. But, they really didn't stop. They went on for the whole entire set.
And, THE MIC TRICKS ARE LOOKING HOTTER THAN EVER. Yes, I dont care what anyone says. They're hot. Adam broke the mic though. Haha... Silly boy. haha... "Hey, what's wrong with my mic?" Tech people: "You broke it." Adam: "oh, awesome."
They played Timberwolves. I mean I knew they would, but its my favorite song of allll time. So, seeing it live is quite possibly the most amazing thing in my whole entire life. It was kicking. Seeing it live, and hearing Adam sing it live just made me realize a lot (more) shit.
Right after the second to last song, I got out and went to the bathroom to see if I was missing the chunks of hair that I felt I was. I wasnt which is a good thing. haha... I watched the rest of the set from the back. Again, they were amazing. So, from there I went to the FYE table to get in line for the meet and greet. You had to buy the CD because you needed to get the wrist band to get in line, and the only way of getting the wrist band was to buy the CD. Oh well, not a bad thing. I guess you really didnt need to, but I was like one of the first people there, so the guy made sure that I did. Urr.. haha... Anyway, the band came in and the girl in front of me was like flipping out. cough cough ::teenie-bopper:: cough cough I got up to the booth and...
Adam: "Hey, I'm Adam." Me: "::haha:: I know... The set was amazing! Can you sign this for me?" Adam: "Thanks so much! Sure." That's when I noticed my scarf I had in my hand. Me: "Hey, my mom made this for me last year. She makes me a new one every year. I want you to have this." Adam: "Serious? No, no! I cant take it! You're mom made it for you." Me: "Right, but you should still have it. I want you to." Adam: "Thanks, thank you so much. I was actually looking in a store at scarfs. Now, I dont have to buy one." Me: "Thats awesome. I just want to tell you that your dedication to this all is why I want to go into music business." Adam: "Really? Wow. How old are you?" Me: "16." Then, he shook my hand again. Him: "Thanks a lot." Me: "Thank you!" The FYE man then made me move on. So, then I went to Mark and Eddie and they signed my CD book, and I talked to them for like a minute or two, and just told them how amazing the set was and how great they were. They thanked me and I moved on to Fred and Matt. This was my first time meeting them. I told them that I was really happy that they were in the band now, and how great the set was. Fred grabbed my hand and thanked me. It was pretty amazing... The whole experience.
I guess you have to know me, and how much Adam Lazzara is my hero. No, I dont "want to have his babies." haha. His dedication and engergy to the music and the band and fans and everything amazes me. A lot. Oh yeah, when I turned around after I was done at the signing booth, Adam was wearing my scarf. I was soo amazed and overwhelmed at the same time. I was in definate shock. I wish I had a camera. So, if anyone got picks with Adam and he's wearing the scarf send them my way. haha...
Despite, all the teenie-boopers in thier tube and halter tops, and the annoying girls rocking out OUTSIDE the pit, the evening was THE MOST AMAZING NIGHT EVER. My fifth time seeing TBS was the most delightful show ever. Now, I just have to wait and see how number six goes.
I believe that is it... If I remember something else, I will post again. :)
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[15 Nov 2003|03:30pm] |
When you hear "Great Romances of the 20th
Century" by Taking Back Sunday, you
orgasm!
What song makes you orgasm?
brought to you by Quizilla
go figure... :)
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| I spend my nights dead face down on my floor... |
[10 Nov 2003|07:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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tiredlizzled |
] |
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music |
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Bright Eyes No Lies, Just Love |
] |
...but the drugs aren't really working anymore...
Yesterday was busy! Actually this whole weekend was. Saturday I worked on papers, homework and I studied. Oh my, I really had a lot of shit to do. I got everything done, and I even started to study for chem. Sunday, I woke up early and went to Lauren's house. From there, we went to Philly to go to a CSC (community service core) meeting and mass. I was really suprised. I had a lot of fun, and it really made me think a whole lot. I went home after that and studied more. And around five, I went to Youth Group Mass/Meeting at my church. I guess you could say it was a really holy day for me. After the meeting I went home and studied more.
School was soo boring. I had a lot of work to do over the weekend, and still alot to do tonight. I think I studied way too much for chem. But, at least I think I passed it which is a plus, but I'll probably fail my history test tomorrow. I'm so kick ass. I wish I wasn't such a fucking failure.
Well, my future may not look so bad. It turns out that I won't have to audition for Berklee. Kick ass. I do need two years of an instrument, but I will have three years of classical voice training and two years of classical guitar. I hope I get into Berklee. I want to be in Boston. People have just told me that its a kickin place to be. ::cough cough LISA cough cough:: And, I cant wait to leave this house. I want to be out of here, out of high school, out of PA. It just seems incredibly pointless for me to be here. I really hate it. I wish I could move or die. Either one is an option. Ur.. I hate all this.
I can't stand the shit that goes on in high school. I really cant. People can shit talk everyone non-stop, but when it finally comes back to them they cant stand it all. I mean, if you are going to talk shit on people all the time, why do you expect everyone else not to? Fuckers.
Thats all for now. I have to finish my chem shit.
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[08 Nov 2003|02:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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tiredlizzled |
] |
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music |
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Bright Eyes No Lies, Just Love |
] |
...like the ground's not mine to walk upon. And I've heard that music echo through the house...
Where has Steph been lately?? Steph, where are you?? haha I have been sick as hell. I have been seriously sick for a week now. I stayed home Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I dont really think that I was that sick, but last year I got sick once, and just never got better until like late May. I dont think that I went more that like four days without getting sick again. Stupid me.
So, we're getting these hot shirts for NCN Worship. One's going to have Will's head on it. They are going to be hot, and when we (the pirates) go to shows everyone's going to ask us where we got them. I'm going to be like "Pssh.. They're for the pirates. They're for the elite." It will be pretty kick ass.
I hate this house more than ever. I cant believe that I will have to be here for over another year still. I dont know what will happen. It's fucking insane.
In better news, it's only SIX days until Taking Back Sunday. I cant even describe my feelings right now. It's just going to be amazing. Ahh... I have butterflies in my stomach. I dont think anyone could ever understand how I feel and why I feel this way. I just cant wait...
--Stolen from Jenn, who stole it from Lisa.. I think...--
Hmm... What else?
I just want to give people some really good advise, and that would be that never forget what has happened in the past. Even if things get better and you think that everything is perfect, dont forget the past. Just as fast as things turn okay, they can turn bad again. If I give anyone one piece of advise, it's this. I hope that this can help at least one person, because I dont want anyone to feel the way I have been feeling.
Brian Drissel is the man. I owe him big time because I could never imagine going to a show without my Hel-Bell. haha..
Speaking of Barski, by the time I get married I will owe her roughly 400 bucks, but it's all for a great reason and cause. I'm giving her ten cents everyday until I have to buy my own house because she's going to remind me not to live in a developement. She's not aloud to cry at my wedding, and the only way I am aloud to go to hers is if I cry... Freak. hahaha
Well, that's all fo nizzle. Love me and leave me comments. :)
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[03 Nov 2003|03:03pm] |
Oh yeah... TICKLE MY PEE PEE
hahahahaha
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| And so i guess its safe to say... |
[03 Nov 2003|01:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Sickizzle/Coldfizzled |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Jamison Parker Biting Bullets |
] |
that we both knew that I'd end up this way.
The brain is clueless and unsure,
And eyes that hardly ever work,
But I guess that's fine
I barely use them anyway.
Let's see...
My weekend was pretty kick ass. Friday blue and gold day, and let's just say that if losing was what we were susposed to do, juniors would have came out on top for the whole week. We didnt decorate or make our skit or any of that other shit that no one really cared to do. I was overwhelmed during the pep rally and felt like puking. Also, they never let the D-Rock Dance Team do their dance and they didnt even announced the D-Rock Dance Team like they announced everything else. It made me want to cry. I'm sure that even Baby Jesus was crying, too. After school I had voice and guitar lessons which went pretty well. After my lessons my mom gave me a HOLLAween card with twenty buck-a-roos in it. The card was better than the money because it reminded me of my dog. RIP Indy Anyways, from there I went to Rachel's to spend pretty much my whole weekend with her. Yeah, I know what you all are thinking, but it really wasnt so bad. Jay Kay. I had a kick ass time with her. So, what did we do? Well, I tried on a dress for homecoming, and I have to admit, I didnt look all that bad. After that we went to get our chinese. Yummy. We went back to her house ate, and then went to pick up John and Maverick or Eric, which ever you want to call him. I prefer Australian. Anyway, we picked them up from the train (they came from Jersey) went back to Rachel's for like five/ten minutes and then left and went to Dina's house. I realized there that our high school is straight-up teen flick. We all get seperated into these little groups and it almost makes me giggle because we are so unbelievably homosexual. We stayed there for like ten/fifteen minutes because as john liked to say some of the people were "shadey." We went to blockbuster after there and rented a crappy movie, but it was cool still. (The car rides were probably the best part of the whole night. I have never laughed sooo much in my whole life. Once in a while I get those laughs where you think that you are going to piss yourself. Those realllly good laughs. Well, that's how I felt the entire night.) Eric fell asleep, so me and Rachel went upstairs to go to bed as well, but we werent tired and so we went back downstairs and talked, well me, her and john. Then, after a little we went to bed. Suprisingly she woke me up. haha Ummm.. We went back downstairs and then we all ate. Mmmmm.... I dont think that we really did anything in the morning until we went to drop the boys off at the train station. After that we went to my hizzzouse. I got shit for the dance that night and we stayed for a little with Momasina. From my house we went to Helen's and then from there we went to the game. Rachel got stung by a bee for the first time and her arm swelled up. We left the game after homecoming king and queen got announced. We went back to Helen's and she cut me bangs. Cool bangs I might add. Then we left and went back to Rachie's (haha) to get ready for homecoming dance. We did so, and were late, fasionably late for pictures at Colleen's. The dance was alright, not as bad as I thought it would be. It was kind of sad to see how many of the songs I new. After the dance, me and Rach went to Wendy's and then to Melissa's and then back to Wendy's because they screwed up all Rachel's order. So, we went back to Melissa's and then ended up going back to Rachel's house because I was tired and she was too and she didnt feel good. So yeah. I woke up early and left and went to church. Came home and Tacy and Doug came over. We ate dinner and played board games for a few hours. It was pretty sweet. I won scrabble, but lost terribly at Life, but we all know that I suck at life anyways. Unfortunately, I am sick now. I have a cold. I cannot talk and it hurts to breath. Urg.. Hopefully, I am not going to be sick like I was last year. I really dont think that I went a whole week without getting sick last year. Oh wells. My mom let me stay home, and it ended up that Helen and Rach stayed home too. I bet everyone thinks we planned it, but we really didnt. They just want to be me, thats all. I had a kick ass weekend. And, I have ELEVEN days until I see TEE BEE ES. I hope things stay this cool for me. I really like how things have been going. I have also realized that if I want my life to work out in a certian way I have to try very hard. I can't let things hold me back either. Anyways, weekend=kick ass. Hopefully this week wont bite ass. We'll see...
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| It's time that I made things right... |
[29 Oct 2003|07:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Coldfizzled |
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music |
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Dashboard Confessional "Morning Call" |
] |
...for the first time,
since the last time...
Yeah, so I have been around, but at the same time I haven't. I just feel that when I write how I am feeling too many people get upset. I thought about stop writing, but I guess I just can't let some things get to me.
So, what has happened? I really don't remember. I went to the last night of Drive Thru Invasion and it was crazy. Sences Fail was simply amazing, and TSL was sooo much better than when I have seen them before. Me, Helen and Rachel all got seperated, but I think we all still had a blast. I did, I know that. I think it was one the most fun shows that I have gone to. I guess because for me, it's more about the music than who's around me, and also I felt that I could be more like me.
I saw Cauzzy at the show!! Oh man, I miss that girl. She's so kick ass. I heart her x core.
I had to take these black and whites photos for art class. Some of them were amazingly pleasing. I'm amazed that I enjoyed my own work. I dont think that they all were great, but I really do like some of them. I need to find some more interesting subjects. My teacher wants me to blow some of them up for Art Night or whatever later in the year. I really want to do some of bands I think. That would be really kick ass.
I have realized how big of a tool I am. It's amazing how people will use other people just so they can be happy. This amazes me ooh soo much.
That's all for now... so yeah.
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[29 Oct 2003|06:22pm] |
stolen from: Jenn
Take the list, cross off any artists you don't have on your own CD shelf, and fill it up with artists you do have until you hit ten.
1: a static lullaby
2: the deftones
3: sublime
4: the used
5: glassjaw
6: finch
7: my chemical romance
8: yellowcard
9: the reunion show
10: me first and the gimme gimmes
____________
copy this list:
1: Sublime
2: The Used
3: Yellowcard
4: The Reunion Show
5: Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
6: Taking Back Sunday
7: Brand New
8: The Ataris
9: Spitalfield
10. Mae
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[21 Oct 2003|09:12pm] |
Stolen from Jenn x Core...
1. taking back sunday vs. brand new
tee bee es.. haha
2. anatomy of a ghost vs. coheed and cambria
coheed
3. the used vs. thrice
used
4. thursday vs. my chemical romance
thursday
5. the movielife vs. fairweather
the movielife :(
6. fall out boy vs. the starting line
tee es el <-- too much fun
7. atreyu vs. shai hulud
atreyu
8. the mars volta vs. sparta
sparta
9. count the stars vs. the ataris
this is hard... ataris because they are why I love this style. they got me into this music
10. spitalfield vs. the rocket summer
spitalfield
11. saves the day vs. mae
This is hard... Saves the Day
12. something corporate vs. straylight run
"straylight run is the runs" no doubt there.
13. chris carrabba vs. conor oberst
due to the fact that conor oberst resides in my head, i will go with him
14. CT BATTLE: doozer vs. grover dill
urr... grover dill
15. hidden in plain view vs. the early november
hipv because they have tha numba one gangsta
16. saosin vs. alexisonfire
saosin
17. alkaline trio vs. vendetta red
alk3
18. glassjaw vs. from autumn to ashes
from autumn to ashes
19. the anniversary vs. the reunion show
the reunion show when my gangsta was there. I cant wait to see how the new band sounds
20. yellowcard vs. silverstein
yellowcard
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| Man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has |
[16 Oct 2003|03:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sick of it |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Dashboard Confessional "Morning Call" |
] |
Lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all
Suprise, suprise... Look who is updating their jounral... Finally! Yeah, it has been a while, but due to the lack of everything in life, i live a boring life. So, yeah... Really nothing has been happening with me. Berklee sent me their applictation for their 2004-2005 year. I only wish I could leave and go to college so soon. I really don't think that I will be able to get in. And, that for me is such a scarey thing because no other school is appealing at all. Isn't that sad?</center>
Oh yeah... sometimes I am on my other screen name (xpeanutthenutx) because I hate people. I am so pleasant, aren't I?!?!
I was soo happy yesterday. Kim told me that she was listening to "Soco Amaretto Lime" reminds me of her. You don't understand how much that meant. That's my favorite BN song, ever. It's funny that no one knew that either.
And, Kim made me Straylight Run and Jamison Parker. yay! What a good friend! She's definately someone that no matter what or no matter if we dont talk for months or whatever we can still be friends. And, I love that. Kimmy = cool like whoa!
I wanted to go to the boy's soccor game. It's their last one, but I obviously wont be there.
So yeah... I'm going to go off on one of my rants, so if you're just going to get made, dont say i didnt warn you...
So, I am sitting on the bus going home listening to "Morning Calls" by Dashboard. On repeat. The whole way home. The song just made me think about how much I can't stand everything that I am around. I can't stand where I am physically and mentally. This just is not me. I am so sick of everything that everyone else is all about. I can't stand the soap opera high school I go to. I am every says that they hate the school, but you really can't understand my hate for the school and everything and everyone in it. I hate the people x core. I know that I haven't found who I am, but at least I don't go around being someone who I am not just to please everyone. Let's be serious. You all are so fake. Like you really care what I do? Syop playing yourselves. Oh, lately my favorite thing has been the "Are you going to homecoming?" Me: "Mmm... Probably not." "Oh why not? You have to go." Right... Like you would talk to me anyway. No really cares if I am there or not. Seriously. Here's another thing... The people who are always like "I hate when people change who they are depending on who they are around." Oh... I love you all. Assholes. You all do it. Stop kidding yourselves. I have stepped back these past few days and watched this, and believe me, all of you do it. I hope you understand why I dont like to anything.
I don't think you could unsderstand how many times I have felt betrayed in the past year. I can't deal with this childish shit anymore. I am so out of place everywhere I go.
It's pretty pathetic to sit on the bus with your head down on your school bag listening to a song on repeat and fighting the pain that you have been holding in for so long. I know it's sad. Kill me.
What are people susposed to do when they hate everything that is around them? Please, please tell me.
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[08 Oct 2003|01:53pm] |
The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test
| | Category | Your Score | Average LJer | | Community Attachment | 16.13%
You've got pals to cheer you up when you're down, but no audience to applaud you... Yet. | 22.96% | | MemeSheepage | 43.86%
An expert on multiple-choice questions, an whiz at the cut-and-paste | 28.92% | | Original Content | 35.48%
Some stories must be told - and you're the one to tell them | 38.94% | | Psychodrama Quotient | 21.69%
Your dark side's safe with us | 17.18% | | Attention Whoring | 22.73%
You do a little dance whenever someone friends you | 20.84% | |
Letting Off the Happiness
Which Bright Eyes Album are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
the vanishing act
which bright eyes song are you going to be.
brought to you by Quizilla
The choices you've made probably weren't the best.
You won't admit it, so you just keep going on.
Show some feeling. We will love you even if you
do cry.
What Straylight Run song describes something about you?
brought to you by Quizilla
"Pointless forever"
you're inner self is tortured, trying to find a way
to contain that one person who seemed to ruin
your life, once you figure out how to build
that world, they wont escape...
What Armor for Sleep song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Take time to remember... |
[07 Oct 2003|06:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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coldfizzle y tiredfizzled |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The June Spirit Can We Lip Sync This One? |
] |
...The beauty of our youth...
Let's see.. Not much has been happening around here. People still piss me off so much. Everything that everyone does and everything in general pisses me off. But, hey... What's new. I'm sick of everyone trying to run my life for me. I know I can't do it, but I don't want anyone else to run it for me.
The new Taking Back Sunday kicks ass like whoa. It's for You're So Last Summer and I love it. Man, I can't say enough good things about that video or the band. Mmmmmhmmmm... I can't wait for my F I F T H time seeing them. Ah... I just cannot wait.
CCauzzie is going to Drive Thru Invasion! I haven't seen that girl in forever!! I can't wait to see her. I miss her. She alway made me smile like whoa.
The As Advertised website is back up! Woo hoo! Nothing new on it, but it's a giver of hope for the future.
Go listen to the new LONG SHOT HERO songs on mp3.com. You will not be disappointed. That band rocks. And their interview will be up ASAP!! I promise! My computer I typed it on is crap like whoa. Urg! I hate
technology.
DRIVE THRU INVASION -- 11 days
Taking.Back.Sunday./Saves.The.Day. -- 38 days
stolen from the coolest mom around...
Playing Favorites by The Starting Line
Embers and Enveloples by Mae
Autobiography Of A Nation by Thursday
Nothing Gets Crossed Out by Bright Eyes
Under a Killing Moon by Thrice
Timberwolves at New Jersey by Taking Back Sunday
The Trainwreck by The Prize Fight
Homecoming by As Advertised
Existentialism on Prom Night by Straylight Run
New Jersey in My Rearview by The June Spirit
Understanding by Count The Stars
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot by Brand New
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| Am I someone remembered? Nothing you forgot. |
[05 Oct 2003|12:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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coldfizzle |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Used Blue And Yellow |
] |
The words you once defended, now it's what you're not. All your cliches and used up novelties. We'll dust off the old pictures. Let's see if you believe. Do you believe what you can see?
So, let's see... My school caught on fire on friday at the beginning of second. They made us sit outside at the football field for like an hour or two. It's kind of funny to think that your whole school probably wouldn't fill up half of one set of bleachers. My school sucks ass.
I think they finally let us leave like around 12. I went back to Melissa's with a bunch of other kids, none who are cooler than me. We sat around and made fun of possibly everyone in the school.
I'm not cool enough for anyone so I stayed home on Friday night. My mom took me shopping in the morning. I got cool cordoroy pants, two shirts and socks. I love socks. I dont think that I could go shopping without buying socks.
I was going to do some photography, but it rained all day. So, that was a negative. So, yeah... Me and Rach went to see her brother's band (By Nightfall) as well as Holly Drive and A Firearm and some other bands. They all kicked. Mmm.. We left early and went to Wendy's. Go figure. haha.
Well... Thats all for now... Yeah...
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| It seems like just yesterday I was laughing with you |
[02 Oct 2003|09:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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tiredizzled and coldfizzled |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Plain White T's Radios in Heaven |
] |
Playing games at Grandma's house. Well, you taught me well, didn't you?
the perks of being a wallflower is quite the book. I think that everyone should go out and buy it and a highlighter, yes a highlighter. Then, you should read the book and highlight the parts that speak to you. Believe me, it's quite the best feeling looking back and realizing that someone somewhere knows what you feel, even if they are a character in a book.
So, I am really sick of people who CANNOT be their own person. It makes me even more mad when people decide to act like me. First off, why me? I am only me, and I would perfer there being only one of me anyways. Second, I don't even know who I am, so why should you waste your time pretending to be someone who you are not and someone who someone else is not fully yet? Does that make sence to anyone?
So, yeah... Also, I'm sick of people telling me and other people who to be, what to do and shit. I mean let people be who they truly are. It doesn't matter what they do in the long run as long as they are being true to theirselves. Seriously now... I'm not going to go around and tell people who they should be and make their decions. Urg!...
"I'm so sick of this. You can't ever be genuine in this fucking place. Everyone conforms to everyone. And if you don't conform to them, then hell, they'll conform to you. And oh god, I am fucking sick of all this genre-discrepancy. Some of you people make me fucking sick. Since when did any subculture become about judging those around you? Since when did a "goth" have to wear black? And would wearing fucking khakis and a dress shirt make me a prep? Fuck that elite, judgemental, highschool-esque bullshit. So fucking crucify me for judging you based on who you are, not how you appear."--Kimmy! I love that girl more than the world, and I hope that she understands that! She knows what she is talking about, and I can totally relate to her. Kimmy, you're so kick ass.
I definately had a moment in art class... I was sitting there and my teacher put in a Johnny Cash cd, and "Danny Boy" came on. It totally reminded me of my grandfather, since it was his favorite song. And, once it was like thirty seconds into the song he goes "I hate this song." Then, he skips it. At first I was getting worked up because I was reminded of him, and then when he skipped it it felt like he stabbed me right in the heart. It was the worst feeling in the world, but also at the same time I felt this great relief for some reason. All day things just reminded me of him. Then, me and Hel were talking and I said something about how my grandfather drove a station wagon. It made me remember this one time when I was little. His sister, my great Aunt "Tootsie", lived a few blocks away from him and my grandmom. We would go and visit my grandparents all the time, like weekly, and when we were there we would go and visit my aunt. And, I just remember that this one time he let everyone walk there, except me. He made me drive in the car with him. His station wagon. I was so mad, but now I just wish that it was all back. I wish that I could be in that old station wagon right now. I wish that I could be back in Norristown at their little house in Jeffersonville. I wish that my grandmom was taking me out and that my grandfather was giving me that dollar that he always gave me. I wish that I could hear him say "jesus christ josie" like he always did. I even wish I could go back to all those hospital visits, even the ones when he was so sick he didnt know that I was there. I do hope he knows that I was there. I haven't cried about him since I think like fifth grade at his funeral, but I am now, and I usually dont get worked up about things.
Why do I talk??
In other news, my uncle and aunt leave tomorrow for China to bring home my new cousin! Yay!!
Your time has already come and I don't know why. The last thing that I had heard you were doing just fine. It seems like just yesterday I was laughing with you. Playing games at Grandma's house. Well you taught me well, didn't you? I hope I'm just like you. Do they have radios in heaven? I hope they do. Cause they're playing my song on the radio. And I'm singing it to you. You left before I had a chance to say goodbye, but that's the way life usually is. It just passes you by, but you can't hold on to regrets and you can't look back. So, I'll just be thankful for the times that I had with you. I hope I'm just like you. If they don't have radios in heaven here's what I'll do. I can bring my guitar when my time is up and I'll play it for you. Tell me can you hear me now? If not, then I can try to sing real loud. What's it like up on the other side of the clouds? I hope I'm just like you. I hope I turn out to be as good as you. Well, do they have radios in heaven...?
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[01 Oct 2003|10:45pm] |
::Basics::
name: Stephanie
nicknames: Steph, Stepherrs, Stephie, Peanut, Kiddo, Peanut the Nut
age: 16
birthdate: 5.18.87
zodiac sign: taurus
birthplace: norristown, pa
location: green lane, pa.
hair color: brownish reddish
eye color: dark brown
school: pius
pets: fat cat and pretty kitty
siblings: andy, tacy, "chris" or "jakey" and ali
parents names: thomas and thomasina... no lie..
righy or lefty: righty.
shoe size: 5
hobbies: Music, singing, geetar, newspaper (damn, I'm a dork)
::Favorites::
drink: any caffinated product
food: chicken
number: 9
color: yellow and black.
band: taking back sunday
candy: twizzlers and jolly ranchers
tv show: animal precinct
kind of music: punkish shit
book: the outsiders and to kill a mockingbird
radio station: y100
flavor: watermellon
scent: woods by A&F (wooow... that goes back to like 6th grade. crazy.)
musical instrument: drums
animal: "mmmm puppies!" haha
movie: the goonies
quote: "I got the mic and you got the mosh pit" tbs
school subject: Right now... umm... American History or Alg2
day of the week: thursday.
website: mm... dont have a favorite
sport to play: I'm more of a spectator... haha
sport to watch: Ice Hockey fo sho
restaurant: mm.. Hunan's Best... best chinese ANYWHERE!
mall: kop
store: pacsun
cartoon: ooohh... way too hard!!
season: summer
flower: snap dragons... they're so playful.
emotion: Well.. I dont think I have a favorite... I have a lot, but not a favorite
piece of clothing: the jeans
salad dressing: ranch
shoes: black and white vans
brand: tilt
::music::
what cd do you listen to the most: "tell all your friends" tbs
what cd do you want: "tell all your friends" tbs... haha
what cd do you have that you hate: none really
what concerts have you been to: too many to write here
what concerts do you want to go to: tbs! woot... i got my ticket
::movies::
what movie have you watched a million times: goonies
what movie always makes you cry: fox and hound
what movie always makes you laugh: goonies just because I know it so well...
what movie is the most boring: from justin to kelly... no actually that was amusing. hahahaha good times
::one or the other::
chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
black or white: black.
sweet or salty: sweet
1 pillow or two: 2.
is the glass half full or half empty: mm... depends on my mood
mtv or vh1: mtv2
up or down: down
right or left: left
blind or deaf: blind.
night or day: night.
cold or hot: hot
gap or old navy: neither.
coke or pepsi: pepsi
summer or winter: summer.
spring or fall: spring
kiss or hug: depends..
messy or clean: both
nice or mean: i'll have to go with... mean
clean or dirty: preferably clean.
smart or dumb: im dumb
ring or bracelet: bracelet.
movie or tv: music.
pen or pencil: pen.
long or short hair: on who?
e-mail or snail mail: snail
::places::
what's your favorite place to visit: wild wood
where do you really want to visit: australia, poland, scotland and BOTSON!!!!!
have you ever been out of the country: nope
if so where: see above.
where do you not want to go: berklee... haha
why: because it's the goal in my life right now
::questions::
do you get along with your family: ahh.. lately I have
if you could do anything right now what would it be: be at a show or asleep
if you could have one wish what would it be: everlasting wishes
why: because its the smart thing to wish for, duh.
::future::
what do you want to be: a manager
what college do you want to attend: berklee
do you want to get married: yeah
where do you want to live: long island
how many kids do you want to have: mm... around four, but i guess it just doesnt matter
kids names: Maille Addison, Tillie Addison, Noah Christian.... Thats all i can think of... I have time, well like three months left.. jay kay jay kay
::when did you last::
take a shower: last night
watch tv: like three hours ago
eat: like at 6
travel: mm... I traveled to school today
drive: I dont have my permit... Hopefully this weekend
take a car ride: umm... my mom picked me up after voice like at 4:15
drink something: I had a cup of tea while talking on the phone with Hel(en) like around nine
talk on the phone: see above
call someone: see above
cried: mm... not for a while! The multiple personalities havent come in a while.
cut your hair: like a month ago
sleep: last night.
got in a fight: My body fights my mind constantly.
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| And thank god you weren't there there... |
[29 Sep 2003|10:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hurtingizzle and sleepyfizzled |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Taking Back Sunday Ghost Man on Third |
] |
to watch me hit the bottom.
So, I am possibly the laziest person ever. I haven't updated this thing in forever. Maybe it's just because there really isn't much to talk about. Hmm... It makes you think, doesn't it?
Not that anyone cares too much, but just to let you all know... I have a killer cold sore. I can't eat or drink like anything because it makes it burn and sting and just urg! Just to let you all know.
So, pretty much everyone has been letting me know how terrible of a person I am. Seriously too. In the past like four days everyone I have talked to have made me feel like I am nothing in the world. And, I'm told that I spend too much time causing problems. My parents even think I need counseling, and someone else told me that I'm too depressed all the time. Asswipes.
I started Perks of Being a Wallflower and I am quite impressed. It's a great books so far. I really like it. I think that I'm going to go read some more of it.
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| This is war... |
[23 Sep 2003|08:08pm] |
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mood |
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pissizzled |
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music |
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Spitalfield Make My Heart Attack |
] |
Every line is about who i don't want to write about anymore.
So, nothing at all has been really happening lately. NOTE THE LACK OF UPDATES! I have probably the most boring life.
This has been the second day in a row that my mom did not make dinner. I'm soo not used to this. I'm used to having mashed potatoes and chicken or spegetti and meatballs or porkchop or.. you get the point. I guess this shit happens when you grow up.
I really am starting to lose touch with the world, and not in a good way. Everything seems to make me mad, and I seem to make everyone mad. I cant do this anymore...
Come get your fortune read!
Created by ptocheia
congrats! you are the worst fucking indie fuck that
can ever fucking exist. you are not only better
then everyone but arent afraid to show it. your
taste is perfection and you are loved.
what type of indie fuck are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[23 Sep 2003|07:41pm] |
Stole this from kate aka my mom...
10 THINGS YOU'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO
01. college
02. working for a label/managing a band
03. TBS concert
04. next show I go to
05. christmas break
06. uarts next summer
07. getting a job
08. high school being over
09. getting money
10. my new cell phone
09 THINGS YOU WEAR EVERYDAY
01. the two bracelets that i melted down to fit me.
02. tank top and t-shirt
03. plugs
04. socks
05. vans
06. hoodie or sweater
07. hairtie on my wrist or in my hair
08. kilt, well 5 out of 7 days
09. an evil grin
08 THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU
01. people who cant be their own person
02. hompphobes
03. people who cant be openminded
04. people who say "high school will be the best four years of my life"
05. parents who cant control their kids
06. when the internet doesnt work.
07. when my pens go dead
08. when my cds skip
07 THINGS YOU TOUCH DAILY
01. my cds
02. my cell phone.
03. my remote
04. my door
05. this keyboard
06. my bed
07. the fridge door
06 BANDS YOUVE SEEN LIVE
01. taking back sunday
02. thursday
03. brandnew
04. breaking pangea
05. the used
06. new kids on the block... oh what now?!?!?!
05 FAVORITE SONGS OF THE MOMENT
01. ballad of sal by taking back sunday
02. the trainwreck by the prize fight
03. the boy who blocked his own shot by brand new
04. bend and not break by dashboard confessional
05. kill the drama by spitalfield
04 PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH
01. n/a
02. n/a
03. n/a
04. n/a
03 MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH AGAIN AND AGAIN
01. the goonies
02. the sandlot
03. empire records
02 THINGS YOU DO EVERYDAY
01. everyone's journals/profiles
02. whatever book that i'm currently reading
01 PERSON YOU COULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH
01. I think i would rather just be alone. I dont care for or trust anyone enough to spend the rest of my life with one person. Sorry everyone.
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| I'm turning around... |
[21 Sep 2003|12:16am] |
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mood |
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creative |
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music |
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Spitalfield Make My Heart Attack |
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I'm turning around.
I'm turning around.
I'm turning it out.
I'm taking it out.
I'm turning around.
I'm falling apart.
I'm hitting the ground.
Well... Let's see. I really have no life. And, people don't like me. Go figure. But, hey... Why should I lead a life complaining about everything when I can make the difference.
UArts is looking so good for next summer. My mom saud that I can even probably board instead of living with my sister or brother. That is really cool then. A whole month away from here and everyone and everything! Not only that, but new people and I'm in the city. I get to go to shows like whoa then. My brother also informed me that he's probably helping too in one of the labs. That would be pretty cool. I dont know what I'll be going for. Probably, black and white photography because that's what i was planning on doing for the past months. Yeah... well hopefully next summer i'll be away from this for a month doing something that i really love. Now, I just have to start saving. The "mom mom" did say she would give me money for it. Woot. Two thousand bucks here I come.
I listened to The Reunion Show cd for the first time in a while... I have a feeling that it's going to be ooooh soooo different without Brian and Derrick. We'll see...
A BIG woot to Kate and the rest of the band. Your Kiddo knew you would do it!
Spitalfield puts me in a mood. I heart that band like whoa.
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[21 Sep 2003|12:02am] |
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| I heart Kate, my mom. |
[19 Sep 2003|09:21pm] |
Here's a little thing from Kate's journal. I love my mom.
i heart stephanie. kiddo, you brighten my day. i don't think you know how much insight you've added to my life. mom hearts you.
Not only is she amazingly talented, she cares! She really cares. I actually can trust her, and if you know me, I dont trust anyone really. Isn't that crazy?
I heart my mom, Kate.
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| Is there anything worth looking for... |
[19 Sep 2003|08:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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filled with caffine like whoa! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Dashboard Confessional Bend and Not Break |
] |
...worth loving for, worth lying for? Is there anything worth waiting for worth living for, worth dying for?
So, it really makes me sad that I didn't go see Straylight on Monday. I regret it. Urg. I wanted to meet Will Noon, and see Little Shaunie Coop. I also wanted to make a super cool shirt, but I never did. I'll just have to save it. But, still, I'm sad x 10.
People at school are already giving me shit for not wanting to go to homecoming. haha... What's the point? Pay money and get dressed up so me and Hel can make fun of everyone? I can do that anyway. Well, if I do end up going, I have a dress, and man it's hott. Yessums, with two T's.
Well, school bites like whoa. I cant stand anyone already.Well, okay... There are a few kids that I can stand. I cant stand how you tell one person something and it goes around sooo fast. It amuses me and annoys me at the same time. You really cant trust anyone at all. People have ruined my trust all the way.
Helen burned me so many CDs... She kicks some sooooo majorly. I really like the new Dashboard cd. It's really addicting. It's "harder" then the others. She still has to burn me the new Thursday and John Mayer. :) hahah... Where would I be with out her?!?!
So, we had this major storm last night... haha... right. I mean, sure it was bad, but not as bad as everyone made it out to be. My electric went out around eight, and never came back on until like six this morning, but hey i got a two hour delay out of it. kick ass. I wish a tree fell on this house. I hate this house. Then, maybe we could have moved to somewhere cooler. Like Long Island. People there are so proud of their towns. hahaha Hel... you know what I mean.
I have had sooo much caffine today. It's crazy. I had to cups of coffee! I dont ever drink coffee. Yumm... It was good though.
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| Help me to dream these dreams because I don't have a clue... |
[17 Sep 2003|07:17pm] |
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mood |
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coldizzle and busyizzle |
] |
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music |
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Mae Giving It Away |
] |
...Is this what you wanted because I'm willing to change...
Let's see... I started school on Tuesday, finally. After a while you start to get sick of the walls that surround you. It was really funny because everyone was like I thought you were leaving!! What can I say... Me and Hel are a bit of tricksters. Colleen was the best. She slapped, baby slap, but she slapped me.
Let's see... Homeroom teacher = Mullarky = ass He thinks he's all cool and strict. Haha.. yeah... History 1st Period will be rather kick ass with Mr. P. He seems really fun. Mrs. Bruesdest, 2nd--> Morality. Had her last year. Boring, but okay. Third Period Spanish... Oh man! That woman hates me for no reason. She sticks her nose where it shouldnt be... 4th is Art with Mr. B. It's going to be such a good class. I have -0.000000000003% talent, but hey, I'm there to learn, right? CHEM!! ahh.. fifth period chem with Mr... Dr. Mancuso. That's going to be such a good class because the guys a crackhead, but one of those cool crackheads. He's soooo funny, but doesnt even know it. Lunch.. 6th. Well what can I say? It's lunch. 7th period's next, and thats Lit. Mr. Matt thinks he's so smart. I hate people like that. Ms. Fic--> Alg2... It should be an alright class. I like her, and she knows me because of Sarto.
Well, after two days I'm already annoyed by all the fake people in my school. My god, and no one can have fun either. No one.. At all. I'm sailing in a boat of my own like whoa. I can't wait until summer. Hopefully, i'll be in philly! woot woot!!
My brother called me today to tell me some cool news! I have to explain later because I haven't told Helen yet. hahah
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| I wake up and think dreams are real. |
[15 Sep 2003|09:08pm] |
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mood |
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deprizzled |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Brand New The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot |
] |
I sleep so I don't have to feel...
I can't wait to walk down that hallway of school tomorrow, and watch the faces of those young, gullible children. hahahahahah Oh... That will delight my fancy.
Helen should call me... now.
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| It seems so surreal, now I sing it |
[15 Sep 2003|06:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sadizzle |
] |
| [ |
music |
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All American Rejects The Last Song |
] |
I can't find my roster. Where are you?
There's so much rain. My basement is flooded, and the post office was shut down because they were flooded. I guess it doesn't sound so bad, but when there's like three hundred people in your town and you're surrounded by water, everything, and i mean everything gets wet.
I have to finish my packets for school tomorrow, and i know that they will never ever get done. Haha... Oh well. Lets start this year off with a bang.
Helen thinks that she is 19. I think she has has split personality disorder. She also doesnt like skullster anymore. What the hell did he ever do to her?!?!?!?
Can I write an entry without talking about Helen? My god... I have nooo life. Thanks Helen. Asshole.
Summer's over. What the hell?!?! It's been a sucky one. Like a two on a scale of 1-10. Thanks to those who got it to be a two. You all kick some. :)
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| I'm holding tight... |
[15 Sep 2003|04:28pm] |
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mood |
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okayizzle |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Motion City Soundtrack My Favorite Accident |
] |
...Til I can feel alive.
So, this journal only gets better! Jenn made me a hot icon. I like how I have this whole theme to my journal. It makes me giggle. haha... Because I am ThA Giggler.
So, yeah... It's all final. I start school tomorrow. It's shit. I'm soo not ready to go back. That's sad. Another thing that's sad, is that the majority of the kids in the picture on the homepage have either just graduated or graduated the year before. My school is so ghetto and poor.
I really think that me and Helen are the saddest people around. We really talk on the phone way to much, and it's always about things that are so pointless. It's always funny, too, but then like two weeks later I'll(or her) will be like "Dude, remember _____ and how funny it was?" But niether of us really do remember. Helen's just as ghetto as pius. You pius whore. :)
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| I still know everything... |
[14 Sep 2003|11:51pm] |
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mood |
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coldizzle |
] |
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music |
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Brand New The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot |
] |
I still know...
Yeah, so I have a new journal. Jenn got me a code, and she made it look all... Adam. She's so awesome, and she said that she'll make me an icon to go with it. Woot woot! She's amazing, and everyone should tell her that in my comments.
Tacy and Dougie came over today. Yeah. Enough said.
You know... I love my conversations with Kate. She makes me happier. And, speaking of being happy, I'm glad that a lot of other people are happy now. I'm happier now. This past week or two have been hell in so many different ways, but also enlightening. People have to understand that I have so much more to find out about myself. I can't make everything alright again. Scars have been left. They'll always be there.
Who wants to hear me kvecth (is that right Hel?) anymore?!?! It's no fun. haha
So, Helen burned me like twenty CDs. Now, man... That is dedication. She's my friend. She won't even let me pay for them. Isn't that shit? Seriously, who does that?!?! Someone offers you money, and you dont accept it. Seriously now. Maybe she really is a nice person... Ha... Riiiiggght.
Now, it's time to be like Helen...
I AM: who the hell cares anymore.
I WANT: to get awat from here, far away.
I HAVE: creativity, or some shit like that.
I WISH: i never stopped dancing.
I HATE: you.
I MISS: my childhood.
I FEAR: not succeeding.
I HEAR: conor oberst.
I WONDER: if I will ever make a name for myself.
I REGRET: not living for the moment.
I LOVE: music.
I ACHE: for something more in life.
I ALWAYS: am singing.
I AM NOT: what you want me to be.
I DANCE: all the time.
I SING: all the time.
I CRY: not to often.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: a bitch.
I WIN: at losing.
I LOSE: at winning.
I CONFUSE: myself.
I NEED: music.
I SHOULD: not be a bitch.
x. father thinks I am: i'm a bitch.
x. mother thinks I am: an embarassment.
x. my boyfriend/girlfriend thinks I am: I dont know. Helen, what do you think?
x. three things you are often complimented for: taste in music, my "young, pretty face", my eyes.
x. you get embarrassed when: never.
x. makes you happy: music.
x. upsets you: you.
yes or no...
x. you keep a diary: this, and then i have my book that i just write in. its not really a journal or diary
x. you like to cook: yeah
x. you have a secect you have not shared with anyone: umm.. i dont tell anyone shit.
x. you set your watch a few minutes ahead: mm.. no
x. you believe in love: eh, yeah.
in the last 24 hours have you:
CRIED? nopes
HELPED SOMEONE? yeah
BOUGHT SOMETHING? naa
GOTTEN SICK? yeah, but the usual stuff. dont notice too much anymore
GONE TO THE MOVIES? Na
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? nope
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? yeah
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? No, not yet. i was planning on it
TALKED TO AN EX? nopes
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? yeah
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? umm.. yeah
MISSED SOMEONE? nope
HUGGED SOMEONE? yeah
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? probably.
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? suprisingly no.
Would You Ever.
Eat a bug? sure
Bungee jump? yeah
Hang glide? sure
Kill someone? probably not
Kiss someone of the same sex? nope
Have sex with someone of the same sex? nopes
Parachute from a plane? sure
Walk on hot coals? sure
Go out with someone for their looks? no, looks really dont matter to much.
For their reputation? no
Be a vegetarian? maybe.
IM a stranger? sure, why not?
Sing karaoke? why not
Get drunk off your ass? sure
Shoplift? ha.. maybe
Run a red light? sure
Star in a porn video? only if Helen was my co-star.
Be on Survivor? no
Wear makeup in public? yeah
NOT wear makeup in public? yeah
Make someone cry? sure
Call your math teacher a motherfucker? haha yeah
Kick a baby? haha... "my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. so i kicked her." haha
Date someone more than ten years older than you? why not
Cuss out a priest? probably not
Take a job as a janitor? yeah
Wear a tho-tho-tho-tho-thong? sure
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| Who wants a life of lost adolescense... |
[14 Sep 2003|02:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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excited-izzle |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Brand New The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot |
] |
Jenn kicks some like whoa. She is the shit. She's making my journal super cool. Definately, definately one cool girl.
More to come. woot.
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most recent entries |
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peanutthenut's journal
